365 Days

A year ago tomorrow our lives changed so significantly that sometimes it's hard for us to really remember life before the big C! However, despite many negatives which are well documented both here and in the minds of all those who know Leo, there've been many positives too.

I'll say that again because it can sound a bit weird...despite Leo having cancer, we've actually found things to be positive about. And yes, most days are really hard. Hard just to get our heads around life as it is now and any future that's mapped out for us all, but generally, on the good days we appreciate life so much more. After all, we do know families whose children are not going to make it and whilst that's still out there for our family, we're currently not there and so we need to be thankful for another non-treatment / non-cancer day, and every day until / or if our worst nightmares do come true.

And this is why the past few weeks with Leo have been simply amazing. He's not been at nursery as his energy levels are still so low, and therefore Leo and I have been doing things each day which make me so happy and proud to be his mum. Despite wondering whether the chicken pox are not out of his system yet (more spots this week - bizarre or what???), not eating and still tired, him not being at nursery school has meant we have spent some serious one-to-one quality time together. His behaviour has been impeccable which is a significant improvement and those anxiety concerns we had before he had chicken pox have dissipated - so perhaps all he needed was to not feel like we were dumping him at school and more time one-to-one with his parents.

Another scan in a few weeks plus yet another chest x-ray, although if Leo does what he did on Friday again, then we may be back at the hospital before these scheduled visits. He took himself upstairs to bed citing a sore tummy and that his legs hurt? Strange but then I guess there must come a point where if you're not eating properly and constantly tired that you're bound to feel like heading to bed and an adult would have done so before now!

So much has happened in the last 365 days and whilst, yes, of course, we wish life was different and cancer had not made us appreciate things we previously took for granted, it has and for that we're grateful.